Are you a woman like myself, who is happiest while doing things for others? There are women like us everywhere who seem to be multi-tasking all the time. Time has to be stretched to accommodate all that is needed to be done for family, home and at work. Life is a constant juggle of roles, including being the perfect wife, mother, career woman, daughter and friend. Of course there are a few odd balls of being a good neighbor, PTA member and community volunteer thrown in.
It can be a supreme exercise of time management and is often quite stressful. In your heart you know it is great fun. Just being needed and useful fills you with a warm glow of happiness. When you get a thank you or even a look of appreciation you float on Cloud Nine for a while! When you help a friend or neighbor by running an errand and stepping in for them, you know that just being needed by them is your greatest reward. However, sometimes it is useful to pick up a crayon and draw a pie. You could even use your laptop to create a pie graph. Make a list of all the important things in your life and cut your pie according to the time you devote to each of them. The list can include being a wife, mother, daughter, friend, career woman and member of the community. If you consider health, leisure activities, learning new skills and spiritual growth to be important then put them in too.
Are you cutting your pie into too many slices? Are you happy with the thickness of each slice? Are you missing out the most important slice – You? It can happen all too easily. You are so busy being the ‘Perfect One’ that you never have time for yourself. When was the last time you did anything which did not involve the needs of anyone else, just for the pleasure of it? You have been so busy that you have not even realized that you have put yourself last on your list of priorities. Take initiative, start now.
It often happens that people, who are willing to oblige others by doing chores for them, find themselves being taken for granted. At work, they are constantly expected to take on extra work which is actually someone else’s responsibility. Soon, work taken on willingly becomes a burden and resentment builds up within. It is much better to refuse politely before things reach this stage. Unfortunately saying ‘No’ to someone who needs a favor without offending the person is not very easy, particularly when you have always agreed to help with the same task in the past.
Learn to say ‘No’ without sounding rude. Speak with a smile and if possible offer a constructive alternative suggestion. Explain to them that you are really busy with work or that you are too tired to take on anything more. You can even offer to help out another time, if it is convenient. Even if you are not really busy but do not feel like taking on the chore there is no need to feel guilty. You are perfectly entitled to spend your time doing nothing at all, if that is what you want! No explanations are necessary.
In fact, when you take a break from your hectic schedule you can clear your mind of all its clutter and appreciate the world around. Sit back occasionally and smell the roses, particularly if you have planted the rose bushes! There is no point in taking on more work than you can handle and enjoy. Ultimately you are doing it at the expense of your own time and even health. It may be humbling, but remember that the world does carry on even without your help!
There are certain aspects of your life that you cannot cut back on, such as caring for your small children or ailing parent. Your career demands your full attention and so does your home. It is the added responsibilities that you take on that you need to consider reducing. Learn to prioritize and trim off the unnecessary demands on your time. It may seem awkward at first to say ‘No’ but remember that it is perfectly okay to do so.
This does not mean you refuse to get involved in activities that are not of immediate concern to you. It just means that you learn to say ‘No’ when it is difficult for you to do something. It means that you take on only what you can do comfortably. It means you give priority to your personal needs and give yourself an occasional treat of just being able to sit back and do nothing without feeling guilty. With all this extra time, who knows, you may even have time to shed those ten extra pounds that have been bugging you.
Start with little things. Say ‘No” to a small chore that is not urgent and you now can be managed by the other person or someone else. You do not have to give a reason for your refusal if you do not want to. Remember it is your time and if you just want to sit back and read a book or watch television it is your choice. You will soon realize that these free moments help you recharge your batteries and you are revitalized. You will look and feel better when you have pampered yourself by taking time out for the most important person in your world – you!
Disclaimer: The entire content of this site/articles are based on our opinions. The information on this site is not meant to replace a relationship with a qualified health care professional, and is not intended for medical advice. We encourage you to make your own health care decisions based on good research and with a respected health care provider.
